Poshbolt
Jealousy Isn’t Love
Reba came into the house to find her bed overturned, her laptop broken in half, and all her pictures of herself and her boyfriend ripped apart. When her best friend came in behind her carrying their luggage, she dropped everything in the doorway so she could cover her mouth. ” OH KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?” she yelled. Reba fell to the floor tears in her eyes. “It’s Roger he does this when I go away. He’s just jealous. He does this because he misses me he loves me this is how he shows it.” she sobbed. Her best friend bent down to hug her shaking her head. ” No Reba that is not love at all.”
Her friend was right jealousy is not a sign of love not even close. Jealousy is a sign of control issues, low self-esteem, and self-doubt. A person doesn’t have to break you down or destroy your property to show they miss you or that you mean something to them.
Relationships go better when people aren’t jealous of one another or the people they have in their lives. A person needs to make sense of the feelings that are underlying feelings of rejection that occurred in the past. A person feeling jealous needs to face the feelings of insecurity within themselves that often cause jealousy – a feeling that we are doomed to be hurt, deceived, or rejected. To stop feeling the rage and feeling of distrust a person must learn to trust themselves and acknowledge their own faults. There has to be the reality that a person can not control another or make them love you.
How to deal with a jealous partner? Stop making excuses for the person making you feel miserable and seek counseling for yourself so that you can learn what a healthy relationship is. The only way to get help in a relationship that takes so much from you is to work with whatever insecurities you have that make you think an unhealthy jealous relationship is normal. Once you see the negative behavior for what is it then you can move on to better horizons. You don’t have to convince the jealous partner in the relationship to change, but you can move on from them if they don’t want to. If they don’t want to change you can’t make them but you can move on.
Jealousy isn’t love, it’s an emotion produced out of insecurity and mistrust. Love doesn’t consist of telling someone what they can and can’t do or who they can and can’t talk to. Love is built on trust, not possessiveness. Love should encourage your partner to grow and explore, and should never be used to maintain someone in the same spot, mentally and emotionally.
Having jealousy in a relationship is not only damaging to the relationship but also to the person who experiences it. It can lead to feelings of inadequacy and paranoia, which can turn into unhealthy behaviors. This is why it is important to remember that jealousy will never result in anything positive in a relationship.
If you are in a relationship and are experiencing jealousy, it’s important to talk to your partner about it. Address the underlying issues and work together to come up with ways to trust one another and build the relationship in a positive way. Know that you don’t have to settle for less than the best and that there is no need to remain in a relationship where you feel insecure. You deserve to be loved, and not enough to stay in a situation that makes you feel bad aboutyourself. If your partner is jealous or possessive, it is important that you communicate this to them and make it known that it is an unhealthy behavior. Explain to them that jealousy isn’t love, it’s an attempt to control that can very easily lead to dangerous behavior like stalking, gaslighting, and even domestic violence. Be clear that if such behavior continues, you will not hesitate to end the relationship. It’s important to understand the difference between a healthy relationship, where you feel secure and respected, to an unhealthy relationship, where you feel controlled and treated with disrespect. Jealousy is not love and if it persists, it is vital that you take your safety seriously.
Lastly, jealousy is not a sign of a healthy relationship. If someone is suspicious of your whereabouts and puts you in a situation where you’re constantly trying to prove yourself, that’s not healthy behavior. Signs of a healthy relationships include trust, respect, and freedom to be yourself without fear or guilt. If jealousy is present, it is important to set boundaries and express what is acceptable to you. Be honest and open with your partner and put your safety first. Jealousy can be difficult to navigate, but it doesn’t have to control your relationship. Remember that communication and trust are the foundation of any healthy relationship. By understanding and addressing jealousy, you can create a healthy, supportive and trusting relationship.
